Relationship Advice: You Choose the Best Years of your Life

In my work with women and relationships, I often help them through break ups. One of the most common lies I hear women tell themselves is, "I gave him the best years of my life." This is simply nonsense. The best is always yet to come, if you choose it to be. So, you are getting older by the minute and cannot reclaim your youth. But happiness is found in our experiences and our attitude, not our age. By learning how to attract and maintain a good relationship, you will have a happier future and avoid the heartache. Unfortunately, some people feel that our bad habits cannot be changed the older we get. We think over eating, falling into bad relationships or smoking become part of who we are and we blindly accept the often horrible consequences that accompany them. We've all heard people say, " I'm too old to quit smoking," or, "It's too late for me to regain my youthful figure." It is never too late and we are never too old to make the changes to better our future.

There was an 83 year old gentleman who was a part of my church who was homebound. With the encouragement of some members of the congregation, he was able to give up smoking, a habit he had for many years. With in a matter of weeks, he was out playing golf again, something he hadn't done in years! It's incredible what happens when someone decides that they are in control of their quality of life, and accept the support and knowledge necessary to make changes. The only unfortunate part is how long it took him to finally quit smoking. Think of the years he gave to his habit that kept him from enjoying life! The best years of anyone's life are not determined by age, even in relationships. A lady I know became single again.

She decided to continue to find ways to enjoy her life and continue on despite her heartache. Eventually she married again at the young age of 80, mainly because of her busy life and great attitude. She and her husband have a wonderful relationship, and enjoy riding their motorcycles, of all things! If people in their 80's are still dropping bad habits and finding themselves in meaningful relationships, you can do it too. It takes a good attitude, the right support, and knowledge of how to change. Your life is nothing less or better than what you make of it. You decide when to have the best years of your life, and you can always choose have the best yet to come. Healing from a break up? Choose to make your future relationship a happy one. Wendy Bridger, MSSW, can show you how to discover your break up and yourself in "Get the Right Guy for the Real You."