Do You Really Want Your Ex Back?

You are not happy. You have been going out with this person for a considerable time but you tell yourself it just does not feel right. Yes they are very nice and seem to be going out of their way to build a good relationship with but it is not working; at least as far as you are concerned. That is understandable. Even with maximum effort and the best of intentions many relationship do not work out. But let's be honest, you are not really giving it your best shot. Do you want someone new? New in the sense that you want out of the relationship you are in now. Old in that you have been there and done that. In other words you want to get back with your ex. There is a tendency in human nature to believe that if you were in a strong vibrant relationship that suddenly ends that you will never be able to find anything like it again. That is not true but oftentimes perception is reality. Worse still is when you do enter a new relationship; everything (and everyone) is measured in comparison to your ex. Trying to live up to a memory can be a major burden to anyone looking to be in a relationship with you. Before moving forward into any new relationship, you may want to consider a few things concerning you and your ex 1. No One Is Perfect They were charming, wonderful, the love of your life and an absolute gem. Are you missing anything? Yes, they were also painfully human with certain traits and habits that drove you nuts. Just as there is no such thing as the perfect person, there is also no such thing as one hundred percent compatibility. It takes two to tango and they brought an equal amount of foibles into the relationship just like you. 2. It Was All Your Fault. NOT!! There is a tendency after a break up to indulge in a little revisionism. It was all your fault because of whatever. Yes your partner was not perfect but you should have been able to overcome all of these obstacles. Stop right there. When a relationship goes sour it is very rarely just one person's fault. Take off the rose colored glasses, step back a minute and analyze the person and the relationship. You should be able to pinpoint moments when the fault lands squarely on their shoulders. 3. Qualities Like No Other Okay nobody does or says x, y or z like your former partner. True but what people miss is that we are all incomparable. No one is like you and no one will be like your ex. That does not mean you put them on a pedestal and measure every person by that standard. What it does mean is that you accept the qualities of the new person and understand they too are incomparable. Realize they have traits that your ex will never have and consider it a good thing. You think you cannot live without your ex. Of course the final decision is yours but keep in mind you broke up for a reason. Do yourself a favor and put out that torch you have been carrying. Do not deny yourself the thrill of meeting someone whose qualities are all their own and feels strongly about you. Give them a chance and leave the past in the past. Article written by Daryl Campbell -The Relationship Tip - Get tips for meeting new people.