That First Date for Youngsters

When our kids get ready to start dating then I don't know who is more nervous, you or them! You are worried about them making a fool of themselves or maybe even getting themselves hurt by staying out late in the dark etc or being led astray by their date. They are nervous about how to deal with everything, and how to act. Your fears are something you are old enough to deal with by yourself, but spend some time with the youngster to talk them through what to expect and how to act, this will take away some of their nerves and they will know you are on their side. I am sure that your son would love to do the whole date alone, and you should give him the impression he is, but at some point he is going to need to ask for help. Unless he has bags of money for a taxi or wants to 'impress' his date by taking the bus, then he is going to have to come to you for a lift, take the pressure out of it by asking him first if he wants a lift rather than him having to ask you. You don't want your young guy to go on the first date and either be too pushy or expect too much. Kids need to learn that things take time and the best piece of advice you can give him is that he should just have fun and show his date his true self. Let him know that if he can just make a good impression now then the next dates will be a lot more relaxed and he can work for that first kiss then. Group outings are terrific starter dates for young daters. Not only do they work well because someone probably has an event that everyone can do but both of the kids feel safer with mutual friends. But both of the novice daters should keep in mind that on the date, he is there with her and she is there with him. It is very easy for both kids to wander off with their friend group and the entire atmosphere of a "date" can disappear pretty quickly. If he is afraid other people may try and make a move on his date then he can do a few simple things to make sure that everybody there knows that she is with him. A flower for her to wear that he gives early in the date not only can make her feel like a princess, it can "mark" this girl as "taken". But at the function by staying together, getting her drinks and "being her date", the other kids will get the picture and not get in the way. There are other nice outings that two kids can enjoy together and begin to explore the world of dating. Bowling is always good because it's a game and once they get there and start playing, the nervousness will disappear. Movies are always good too as long as the feature is age appropriate because parents can drop the kids off at the theater and know when to pick them up. We often think of dates as meals at a restaurant, they have so often been portrayed that way in films and on TV. Until he gets more experience try and get him to steer away from such a formal date, until he has the skills to make it a success. If he likes the idea of taking her out for food though he could take her to a food court in a mall, that way the atmosphere is less formal and he still gets to be the gentleman and buy the food. The young man should be also be taught that at the end of the first date he should be a perfect gentleman and walk her all the way home. He should understand that he does not need to get a kiss to have a good date, that all women are different and he will offend her if he tries to force a kiss. Tell him to watch for signs that she wants to kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug etc, no doubt her parents will be watching from inside so tell him he doesn't want to upset them on the first date! Then once he has mastered his first ever date his confidence will blossom, he will then be free to learn for himself all the different areas of the 'dating game' and blossom into a proud young man with a beautiful woman on his arm. Watch this video to get romantic ideas for a date.