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August 16, 2008

Surviving A Break Up: Why Are You Still Moping Around?

Some of your friends are not happy with you. They tried to do you a favor and hook you up with someone they thought you'd really hit it off with. You went out on the date filled with enthusiasm and ready to make a new start. But let's face it you blew it. The other person tried to get some conversation going. Not much success. When you did talk it was usually about your previous relationship. Your date didn't mind it for the first hour or so. They understood and welcomed your venting. Too bad you couldn't let it go right there. In fact, you carried the torch for the whole evening. That is when you were not sitting melancholy gazing into space. Your date was not happy and let your friends know it who are now letting you know it. You tell them it was all a misunderstanding and that the other person bears part of the blame. Deep down you know that's not true. The trouble is you are not over your ex. Finding that special someone can feel like heaven on earth. Every thing clicks. A casual stroll down a crowded street turns into a great time and exciting adventure. The phone conversations can go on for hours and when the two of you finally hang up you feel it was way too short. Being in each other's company just gets better and better. And then reality knocks on the door. Issues that the two of you once scoffed at as trivial have become major roadblocks. All that wonderful chemistry has given way to character traits that drive the both of you nuts. The criticisms once gentle and playful turned harsh if not downright brutal. The reasons are endless but the bottom line is you and your significant other decided to call it quits. Okay. That's how it goes sometimes. But when you continue to play the role of the sad sack, then you are threatening any dating relationships you may have in the near future. Sure you need time to get over a break up. It's only normal that you lament the lost of something special but all too often people use this mourning period to do themselves more harm than good. They tell themselves they will never find anything that wonderful again or that it was their fault therefore they can't be any good. Stop. Unless your actions severe (in which case you don't need to be in any relationship) always remember it takes two to tango. Everything that happened was not your fault. Accept the fact that maybe time did you a favor. It's so easy to get swept up with emotions during the early stages of a relationship especially when you discover how much the two of you have in common. But time is a great leveler. It has a way of forcing us to remove the rose colored glasses and dig a little bit deeper into the reality of the other person. Do what you need to do to get over the other person. Have a quiet toast, call them up and wish them well (be very brief and don't keep calling back), travel or stay home and listen to blues songs if it will make you feel better. But once that period is over, be thankful, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a great catch and then come back strong. No, you won't have the same relationship as before but you will meet someone that will make you feel just as vibrant and alive as your ex. Only it will be in a totally different way. Look forward to it. <h1> </h1> Article written by Daryl Campbell - The Relationship Tip - You are over your ex, right? Well maybe not. Truth to tell you really do want them back. The Relationship Tip


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